怎么还有一只马克杯,怎么还曾爱过你

0816

除了一个马克杯之外

除了一个马克杯之外——杯身上印的
小镇,他俩谁也没去过——
她把他其他所有个人物品,都还给他了,
完完整整地。后来,大概过了几天或几周,或
更长时间,他俩通电话,听到对方的声音,心生
懊悔。不是懊悔失去了什么,一点也没有,
而是,那种令人不悦的语气
彬彬有礼,透着一丝羞耻——
怎么竟会爱过你。
他随口提起那只破损的马克杯,
她说还曾收到过一些他的信。
两人竟堕落到如此地步——
只剩电话里的客套话,希望
证明各自当下的生活没有半点不如意。没有,完全没有。一切
都很好,谢谢,相当好。没问题,什么问题也没有。
然后,又过了几分钟,他们互道
再见,两个人都特意说得
那么礼貌,那么决绝。

作者 / [南非]卡伦·詹宁斯
翻译 / 唐晓丽

 

Apart from a Mug

Apart from a mug which bore the name of
a town neither of them had visited,
all his belongings were returned to him
intact. Later, perhaps days or weeks or
more, they spoke, hearing the other’s voice with
regret. Not regret for loss or anything like;
rather it was the unpleasant tone of
civility—carrying with it the shame of
having ever loved the other at all.
In passing he mentioned the cracked mug and
She said she had received some of his mail.
This was what they had been reduced to—
Pleasantries on the phone and a wish to
Prove that nothing now was amiss in their lives. No, nothing at all. Everything
Was fine, thanks, quite fine. No problems, none.
And when, after some minutes, they said goodbye
To one another, each made sure to sound
Both very polite and very final.

Karen Jennings

 

几年前在伦敦短租过BBC一位记者的房子,离威斯敏斯特不远。打开橱柜吓一跳,整整齐齐摞了三层马克杯,两只手数不过来。细细看,大概是记者同志周游世界带回来的纪念品。

我也有收集马克杯的习惯,每到一个地方,总要买一个印有城市名字或特色图案的杯子带回家。直到有一天发现橱柜已经盛不下我的虚荣,突然想到将来搬家可怎么办,以及,更可怕的,如果有一天住进养老院,这些杯子留给谁?对孩子或旁人来说,并没有去过那些地方,它们就只是普通水杯而已啊。

这首诗里的马克杯,也尴尬在此。杯身上虽然印有某小镇的名字,可是他俩谁也没去过。没去过,就没有共同的回忆。为什么会出现在家里?不知道,也不重要。重要的是,马克杯可能并没有很明确的归属。也许过去是他在用,但是对他而言显然也没有重大意义——电话里没话找话地提起它,但也并没有要来拿回去的意思。

最后这只已经开裂的马克杯,就成了他们堕落到只剩电话里你好我好的关系的注脚——怎么会有一只从没去过城市的马克杯,而我又怎么会在有限的生命里爱过你。总之想起来都感到难为情。就像小津安二郎的《秋刀鱼之味》,生命中各种关系无可避免地走向无可挽救的崩溃,无论友情、爱情,甚或亲情。这只马克杯,以及更多的马克杯,恐怕也一样逃不掉成为累赘、终被丢弃的命运。

荐诗 / 唐晓丽
2018/08/16

 

 

 

题图 / Victoria Siemer

8614total visits,1visits today

发表评论