我想问你,要

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有关一个良夜的十项要求

1. 我想问你要光,大量大量的光,这样,当夜来临, 我不会害怕在黑暗中睡去。

2. 我想问你要一个满满的水箱,像我祖辈的食橱那样堆满, 这样, 我不必吹亮我腹部的余烬, 我不需要咬我妻子的乳房。

3. 我想问你要从容的良知和一种冷静的信念, 有关世界是一个平滑的平面, 而我将不会在一座我目力不及峰顶的山上驻足,不会在一片不见底的海水中游泳。

4. 我想问你要一辆白色的大凯迪拉克, 仅仅因为它在那儿, 他会使我免于此生所有的危险, 礼拜天, 我可能会清洗, 抚摸它的翼板。

5. 我想问你要我已经部分要求过的东西:成功, 持续,可靠的成功, 这样, 在你遗忘的日子里, 我自己可以照料我的家庭和我自己, 可以填满冰箱和蓄水池。

6. 我想问你要一堆计划出生的小孩, 让他们如同雨后的蘑菇,从土里涌出,而我, 只需在他们成熟时,收集, 双臂搂满。

7. 我想问你要一个人,当我疲惫不堪,一身冰凉地返家,当漫长的白日已尽,我返回已铺好床的帐篷,他将拨旺我床上的火。

8. 我想要你每天给我一个完满的记号, 不需要太大, 一个细小的印记就是我要的全部, 比如, 如同我口袋里的一个洞,钞票和硬币无论如何都不会掉落到街上,相反地,它们掉落到我长裤里的某处,这样, 我可以毫无担忧地躺下,醒着, 什么也无法动摇我对你的信念。

9. 我想在我生病的日子里, 问你要一阵笑声;在我即将死去的时候, 问你要大声的哄笑。

10. 我想要停止思来想去,高速并且高效,这样我终于能够阖上双眼, 睡去。

作者 / [斯洛文尼亚] 阿莱士·施蒂格
翻译 / 梁俪真

10 Requests for a Good Night

1. I want to ask You for light, lots and lots of morning light, so that, come night, I won’t be afraid to fall asleep in the dark.

2. I want to ask You for a full fridge, the way the larders of my ancestors were full, so I won’t have to blow on the embers in my belly, I won’t have to gnaw on the breasts of my wife.

3. I want to ask You for an easy conscience and a cool faith that the world is a flat and smooth plane and that I will nowhere have to set foot on a mountain whose summit I can’t see, swim in a sea whose bottom I do not see.

4. I want to ask You for a big white Caddy, that with its just being there it may keep me safe from all the dangers of this life, whose wings I might wash and caress on the Lord’s Day.

5. I want to ask You for something I’ve partly asked for already: for success, for constant, solid success, so that on days when You forget, I can myself take care of my family and myself, can fill the fridge up and the reservoir.

6. I want to ask You for a throng of children to a plan, that they may spring up from the earth like mushrooms after rain, and I just need to gather them ripe and cart them around in my arms.

7. I want to ask You for someone to stoke the fires in my bed when I come home tired and cold, the long day done, back to the tent, of bed-sheets made.

8. I want to ask You that You give me every day a sign of fullness, nothing big, a tiny sign is all I’m asking, a hole in my pocket, for instance, through which however the money does not fall on the street, it falls inside my pants somewhere instead, this so that I may lie awake without worry, so that nothing sway my faith in You.

9. I want to ask for laughter in the days of my sickness and for loud guffaws when it’s time for me to die.

10. I want to ask to be without second thoughts, fast and efficient, so that I can finally shut my eyes and go to sleep.

Translated by Tom Ložar

 

狄兰·托马斯也有一首良夜的诗,就是那首大名鼎鼎的《不要温和的走进那个良夜》,但那个“良夜”实际是一个关于死亡的粗狂又热烈的隐喻。阿莱士·施蒂格所描绘的这个“良夜”就轻松多了,这十项要求串联起来,足以成为一封上上乘的情书。

当然,这首诗打动我的地方并不在于这些漂亮的“情话”,而是这份看似轻松的“良夜”究竟是什么呢?仅仅是一个美好夜晚吗?

阿莱士·施蒂格建构并要求了这样“一座”良夜:你啊,请你给予我爱,给予我光,给予我信念,给予我力量。这里的“你”,则是“神”的指代。注意,“良夜”在此成为了人与“神”对话的通道,更确切些,“良夜”是一座建筑物。在这座建筑物里,神“给予”了人,人也因此获得了“大量大量的光”。

“信仰”完成了吗,显然没有:“我想要停止思来想去,高速并且高效,这样我终于能够阖上双眼, 睡去。”,“我”最终还是放弃了,并彻底接受了裹挟着不安、竭虑、矛盾、荆棘的渴望。这最后一项要求,成为了一种无效抵抗。

或许,这种放弃的背后,是另一种自我探索。但,它隐含着无限绝望的意味:这很快就会变得像是一场遥远的梦境,在此之前,愿你陷入一夜无梦的沉睡。

今晚的题图来自罗马西亚画家George Stefanescu创作的《Jesus》。他,听到了吗。

好了,无论怎样,周末快乐!

荐诗 / 祭祀
2018/06/03

 

 

题图 / George Stefanescu, Jesus, 1999

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