那眩晕是一次多么美好初恋的开端

20140709

我的母校

我经过童年时的母校
心里说:我在这儿学到了一些东西
也有一些没有学到。我一生中白白爱着
那些没有学到的东西。我学识饱满,
我清楚知识树上开花的全部细节,
它叶子的形状,它根系的功能,它的害虫和寄生者。
我是一位善与恶植物学的专家,
我仍在钻研它,我将钻研它直到死。
我站在学校建筑旁向里望去,这是我们曾经
就座与学习的房间。教室的窗户总是
向未来打开,但在无知的年纪我们只是把
从窗口见到的当做风景。
校园狭小,铺着巨大的石块。
我记得我们俩那短暂的眩晕
在摇摇欲坠的楼梯旁边,那眩晕
是一次多么美好初恋的开端。
如今它脱离我们而活着,仿佛在一座博物馆,
如同耶路撒冷其他的一切。

作者 / [以色列] 耶胡达·阿米亥
翻译 / 照朗

The School Where I Studied

I passed by the school where I studied as a boy
and said in my heart: here I learned certain things
and didn’t learn others. All my life I have loved in vain
the things I didn’t learn. I am filled with knowledge,
I know all about the flowering of the tree of knowledge,
the shape of its leaves, the function of its root system, its pests and parasites.
I’m an expert on the botany of good and evil,
I’m still studying it, I’ll go on studying till the day I die.
I stood near the school building and looked in. This is the room
where we sat and learned. The windows of a classroom always open
to the future, but in our innocence we thought it was only landscape
we were seeing from the window.
The schoolyard was narrow, paved with large stones.
I remember the brief tumult of the two of us
near the rickety steps, the tumult
that was the beginning of a first great love.
Now it outlives us, as if in a museum,
like everything else in Jerusalem.

Yehuda Amichai
Translated by Chana Bloch and Chana Kronfred

 

前几天读到一段话,大意是说,不管大学四年逃过多少课,挂过多少科,怀疑过多少次人生挥霍过多少的青春,拍毕业照时一定是阳光灿烂笑颜如花的,似乎四年来所有的压抑愤懑心不在焉吊儿郎当都在咔嚓的瞬间烟消云散,似乎从此真的前程似锦一片光明。

对校园时代的回忆往往浪漫得有些失真。为什么不呢?太多“美好初恋的开端”发生在校园某个角落。某次心猿意马情不自禁。诗里那句”brief tumult”让我想起娄烨电影《颐和园》片首的旁白:

“有一种东西,它会在某个夏天的夜晚像风一样突然袭来,让你猝不及防,无法安宁,与你形影相随,挥之不去,我不知道那是什么,只能称它为爱情。”

是的,无法安宁。我不知道这世上还有什么,比让人无法安宁的东西更令人念念不忘。 容颜会老,智力会衰退,但对最初的爱的体验,不会消失,不会轻易与长大后不再无知的自己握手言和。

这个夏天的校园,又一茬身披学位服的毕业生行色匆匆,奔跑跳跃着,想要抓住青春的尾巴。注定徒劳。“去爱吧,像不曾受过伤一样。”

荐诗 / 唐晓丽
2014/07/09

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